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Who Is Mang Laser?

admin — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 21:38:53 +0000

Who is Mang Laser?

It is unknown where Mang Laser was born or the identity of his biological parents, only that he was raised by Ghengis Khaan and was born with a superhuman sense of smell (as prophecised in the Dead Sea Scrolls, Rolling Stone Edition).

As a teenager he became revered after inventing the food “cheese” and founding a magic school called Warthogs’ Home of Card and Coin Tricks, (this name was later changed). In the mid twentieth century it is rumored that he accidentally cut off Van Gogh’s ear whilst opening a champagne bottle with a sword, but still drank the champagne.

Years later, after turning down the role of Tyler Durden in Fight Club, he found critical acclaim with the release of his own range of poultry based footwear.

His hobbies include:

washing windshields at traffic lights
sniffing money - including change
breakdancing in He-Man pyjama pants
pretending he has teeth

Who Is Mang Laser? [caption id="" align="alignright" width="200" caption="Who is Mang Laser?"][/caption] It is...

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Clean car madness!!

Mang Laser — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 15:39:23 +0000

Ever wondered how expensive that ferarri was that just flew past with the top down and the leather seats that look more costly than the one you lie on during your counselling sessions? Then there’s the insurance, fuel, parts and maintenance……..but goddam I didn’t know dudes were payin 10g’s to clean these puppies!! LASER’s been too busy checkin the list of items under 2 dollars at micky d’s and workin out a way to forge a new bus concession card. That f$#@in wax is worth 6 grand!! But I guess if you can convince someone a wash and detail is worth that sort of cheddar then you’re a f@#$in genius!! LASER!!

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Heltah Skeltah: ruck and roll

Mang Laser — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 15:07:02 +0000

Well it’s Rock and Ruck from Heltah Skeltah but on this track the band title is actually Special Education: consisting of members Johnny Rambo, Monstaman, Guitarded, Unnamed and Death to Cabs in New York………..apparently. But LASER don’t give a shit what ya wanna call em, cos Rock and Sean P are two of the illest dudes ever and have kept it that way for a long f#@$in time!! Plus this clip is on that Kool Keith type of flow, bling free with a twist of takin the piss-my favourite. LASER!!

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Kool Keith:laid back in the sun (unreleased) Kool Keith goddammit!! Can’t get enough of that kool kool...

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car learns respect-3000 rounds per minute

Mang Laser — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 02:45:07 +0000

Have you ever seen those ads on tv for world vision and thought-what can I do to help those poor people? I just don’t have the resources to get a glass of clean water into a kid’s hand……Well this clip is proof that western society has very important priorities when it comes to expenditure, and we simply don’t have enough to go round. I mean sometimes the LASER just can’t finish his lunch and the only thing to do with it is to blast it out of a billion dollar cannon to see how it is affected by leaving the earth’s atmosphere at warp speed. Sometimes the LASER’s dodo skin shoes don’t perform to standard and need to be taught a lesson by annihilation involving plutonium and hundred dollar bills on fire…….there’s just no other way. LASER!!

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Bass in ya face

Mang Laser — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 02:30:04 +0000

Now the LASER actually created this category to pay out on some crazy cash costin concepts, but this one is kinda sweet. Might inspire you to get buckwild with those subs and just throw out your back seats….and back teeth!! The closest thing the LASER has to an automobile is probably that old wheelbarrow out back but he could easy get a 16″ in it……..might lower it too!LASER!!

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what’s in Kool Keith’s fridge?

Mang Laser — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 03:58:59 +0000

Wanna know what Kool Keith keeps in the fridge? Some sound advice from the dopest cat alive on how to keep your fridge stocked with unstealable items. Take note on how Keith can go into a diner and chill without an entourage of dickriders,no gucci or ice and no asshole attitude-fake emcees take some leaves outta this book. Keep it real, represent what-my nuts!! LASER!!

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Kool Keith:laid back in the sun (unreleased) Kool Keith goddammit!! Can’t get enough of that kool kool...
Kool Keith:plastic world Man is it possible for Keith to be any doper...
Kool Keith’s sweet beans Yeah boyyyyy! Its the toothless time traveler LASER himself back...

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Seal digs Jack Black on Idol

Mang Laser — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:53:56 +0000

Jack Black busts out ‘kiss from a rose’ on idol to see what the judging panel thinks. Not the best response but when Seal himself gives you props you better just head over to victoria’s secret and get yoself some lovin…..some golden shit right there that doesn’t need to be polished by paula abdul, and randy throws in his obligatory ‘dog’s and ‘yo’s. Actually these turds are as funny as the joke, but not intentional! LASER!!

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Bob Saget:the aristocrats Now the LASER was around when this joke was invented...

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Tenacious D: the metal

Mang Laser — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:43:08 +0000

This song is all truth (hip hop aside, cos LASER love that shit!), and man this is the illest stage show ever! That huge dancin robot and the flames and the riff and the METAL!! This is a tribute to the olden skool of metal and I bet the likes of Dio and Maiden have a copy for the car, and so should you-METAL!!

LASER!!

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Dio:holy diver Man this song is just insanely awesome! Ronnie James Dio,...

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Dio:holy diver

Mang Laser — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:25:40 +0000

Man this song is just insanely awesome! Ronnie James Dio, the king of cheese metal, sits high upon his throne of brie and delivers one of the most killer rock tracks of all time. The video totally whips ass too, what the f$#k was goin on with all those medieval references? The 80s truly was a mysterious time and only Dio holds the key- “between the velvet lies is a truth that’s hard as steel!” Total cheese, but it rules at the same time-how you ask? just watch and enjoy…. LASER!!

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Dr Octagon:blue flowers

Mang Laser — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:13:25 +0000

So how can LASER get on the kool keith tip without addin this track? How indeed! This could be the most creative shit the hip hop world has ever seen, its the paramedic fetus of the east with priests from the church of the operating room! Some full on psychadelia kidz, this shit is like pink floyd for hip hop headz!! LASER!!

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Kool Keith:laid back in the sun (unreleased) Kool Keith goddammit!! Can’t get enough of that kool kool...
Kool Keith:plastic world Man is it possible for Keith to be any doper...

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